cinco de mayo and angry dogs

i treated myself to some goodies on cinco de mayo.

it started out as a really nice, relaxing day.

about 8:30 that evening i was sitting in my driveway,
lacing up my new walking shoes, ready to enjoy a nice walk with a friend, when 3 dogs from across the street viciously attacked me. i'm tired. i'm tired just thinking about it. i'm emotional. my arms hurt. they ripped my shirt, broke my sunglasses and chewed up both of my arms. i've probably over-shared a picture or two with enough people, i will spare you the details. i will never be more proud of my husband than when i saw him fly out of the house, out of the corner of my eye, and fight those dogs off of me. he wouldn't want me to get all gushy on here about him, but seriously, i'm so lucky. another neighbor heard me screaming and ran out as well. thank goodness for shock and adrenaline, because i didn't feel it when it happened. in fact, i can't remember anything for about a minute or two. the night was a mess, i went to the hospital, the police came out, i'm not sure what to think about all of this. i don't understand. it's just a big mess. i'm heartbroken that these dogs might be put down, although i'm mad as hell that it happened, and i know for the good of everyone something has to be done. they've charged at us two other times and bitten, with much less serious results, and each time we told the owner that it can't happen again.
it shouldn't have happened to me, but had it happened to boyd or another child, well, i just don't know. 

don't get me started on that.

i'll be ok. it could have been so much worse.

but, god is so good. 

i've felt more loved and cared for than i could have imagined.

my family and friends amaze me. 

there have been phone calls all the way from maui to locally, emails, and texts and prayers and candles lit. 

i told my grandma this morning that my feelings are just hurt, and i'm disappointed, but i can't really put it all into words. she assured me that even though she's 85, she still hasn't figured out the world, and some of the people in it. 

more than anything though, i'm looking for grace in all of this, and finding that jesus never leaves us. 

he doesn't cause these kind of things to happen, he just loves us through it.

he protects us and heals us, sometimes in ways that we don't understand, but he is unfailing.
i've been a mess trying to figure all of this out, but he doesn't need me to figure it all out, or to fix it alone.
he just wants me to hand it over to him, which i'll gladly do.

 another friend reminded me to fight the good fight. 

i don't want to be in this situation, in a fight with neighbors, 

but i am, and i will make sure the right thing is done. 

sometimes the RIGHT thing is the HARD thing. 

i hope to do it in a gracious and loving manner. i don't want ugliness to win. 

i worry about how these bills will get paid, and if the neighbors will retaliate, will they make up stories, and why am i, as the victim, having to do all the work, and so much more, 

but fear will not win either.
like i've said before, i'll take my mama's stance on life....i'm too mean to be scared.
{and i've got a pretty strong husband too}.

 kevin has gotten up a little earlier this week, and walked boyd to school without saying a word to me about it, knowing that i wasn't comfortable walking down the street like that.
my rock.
forever thankful.

it's all going to be ok.

i'm ok.

love wins.

good wins.

always.

love,

nicolle